Sometimes it is hard to figure out whether we are suffering because of what we are doing right or because of what we are doing wrong. Both actions lead to suffering. The difference is in the outcome. When we suffer for doing right, we are better and stronger when we come through the other side. If we suffer for our wrong actions we will continue to lose vitality and become worse unless we correct what we are doing.
It is always a good idea to reflect on what we are going through and judge ourselves on whether we are obeying the Laws of Life and Nature or whether we are breaking these laws. We know we will never be able to get away with being disobedient.
Since none of us are perfect, there is always room for repentance...a changing of the way we think and act...a call to elevated thinking.
I had been feeling bad for several months but had allowed myself to stay so caught up in my schedule that I did not heed the warnings to stop and evaluate what I was doing. Even though I was eating a high raw food diet, I was also eating in restaurants and using stimulants (such as coffee and cooked foods) when traveling just to keep going.
Finally, my teacher and healing friend, Dr. John Fielder got my attention with a message that said, in part, "I am going to be brutally honest, for you do not appear to be hearing what I am saying. If you wish to regain your health and not kill yourself, it is vitally necessary that you stay in bed and stop gallivanting about. This is serious business and you cannot afford to play around".
Eating in restaurants is a lesson that I obviously have not yet learned. You cannot get healthy food in a restaurant. Dr. Fielder's advice when traveling is that if you must eat, then find a place that sells fresh food and eat just fruit if that is all you can get. "This is not a game. It is a deadly business", he said.
This message impressed me enough to make me go to bed and begin to fast to allow my body to heal. My 91 year old mother went into the hospital about the time I began the fast. On the third day, she became worse so I broke the fast with juices and spent time with her on her last few days with us here even though I was feeling quite ill.
My dear Mom passed away shortly after midnight on April 3rd. On the evening of April 4th, as I was eating a salad supper at home, I suddenly could not breathe. My son, Harris, arrived from San Francisco that evening for the funeral services. Molly and her family came over after the visitation on April 5th. I was in bed for the long haul now. I missed the visitation and the funeral. It was heart-breaking to see my precious family leave for these services without me.
I cleared my calendar for a month and began to fast in earnest. I fasted under Dr. Fielder's supervision for twelve days and then broke the fast with orange juice as my tongue began to clear.
My biggest problems during this crisis were emotional. Somewhere along the way fear got a hold on me. I began to experience severe panic attacks and even though my blood oxygen was good and I was able to breathe in and out I felt like I wasn't getting any air. I lost my faith for a bit and began to listen to all the advice that was coming in. I wavered and became confused. I visited the EMT's because I felt like I was dying. They found my vitals all good...normal blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen levels, blood sugar, lungs clear. I made an appointment with my medical doctor whom I had not seen in years. I had to go in as a new patient. I asked him to run the blood work necessary to determine if I had any deficiencies. I made an appointment with a good therapist. Finally, Dr. Fielder told me I was going to have to choose which voice to listen to.
Slowly, slowly I began to learn not to go into panic mode when I felt like I was not able to breathe. I talked to a dear friend who understands this lifestyle. She spoke peace to my soul. The therapist helped me to see how right it is to trust that the path I have chosen for myself is the right path for me. He also helped me see that often the feeling of not being able to breathe comes from feeling like you are constricted and not able to be yourself.
My blood work all came back great so there is evidence in black and white that my diet and lifestyle have not caused any deficiencies. Every test was within the normal range with only protein and calcium being a fraction of a percent below the normal range. They are so close to the normal range that I don't feel the need to change anything I am doing. Dr. Fielder advocates the use of animal proteins anyway. I will start using a little more to be on the safe side. The farmer's market has cheese made from raw milk and eggs from hens raised on 22 acres of pasture.
As of today, it has been 56 days since I got my wake up call and went to bed. My breathing is much better, but I still notice it sometimes. Each day I am able to do a little more. I am so thankful. During the worst of the crisis, I was not at all sure what the outcome would be.
Even as we age, the body has the ability to heal. It just takes longer when we are older. Am I really serious about living in harmony with Nature's Laws? Is Dr. Fielder right that this is not a game? The Laws of Life are not grievous. They just require that we walk away from the world system and be willing to go through the pain of healing.
Here is where we start:
1. Eat only raw foods
2. Drink only water
3. Be in the fresh air
4. Be in the sunshine
5. Walk everyday possible
6. Avoid all stress
7. Get plenty of sleep and rest
8. Pray and expect to be healed
This is NOT alternative medicine. It is an alternative to medicine.
To health and happiness.
